scoping out if it’s safe to come out to someone
8 years old. College reading level. The weight of the world on my shoulders.
20 years old. illiterate. the weight of the universe has given me chronic back pain
Me, and I’m studying linguistics. It’s problematic
What a year this week has been.
It’s Monday.
It sure as hell is.
The earlier in the day Monday you reblog the funnier this gets
Me, at fictional characters: THIS WOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM IF YOU JUST TALKED ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS
Me, in real life: if i give even the vaguest notion of my feelings to anybody i would die
Me to my loved ones: T A LK TO ME U G H
Me trying to share: so yeah um nah like it’s just nah yeah it it’s fine whatever doesn’t matter it’s just dumb anyway
“Large mocha for Jacob” “regular flat white?” “Um, no”
sometimes I see shiny things like this
or this
and instead of admiring them the ghosts of my protestant ancestors possess me and I think shit like ‘well that’s just a little too much’
my ancestor Pain Wilhelmina Smith wacks a stick around my brain like ‘you like that Catholic shit? you gonna pay indulgences for that, huh? punk? get yee to a single room log cabin and PRAY’
anyway, my room is absolutely bare and buying a piece of clothing for over 20 dollars pains me
actually, I’m sorry to admit this, but I actually mis-remembered the name of the ancestor I was thinking of
her name was Fear
if you’re wondering, my puritan forebears actually had 5 children
please note Wrestling, Fear, and Love Brewster. And Jonathon.
this is so funny, thank you
Sometimes you just gotta let shit go. Whatever happened, happened. Stop stressing over it. You still young & still got a lot more shit coming your way.
fun facts!
- leonardo da vinci was a year younger than christopher columbus.
- stalin, freud, Ttto, trotsky and hitler walk into a bar……no really, it’s possible since they all lived in vienna in 1913.
- aristotle tutored alexander the great.
- abraham lincoln was twelve when napoleon bonaparte died.
- an unusually well-traveled person in 5th century BC could have conceivably met confucius, lao tze, the buddha and socrates over the course of a seventy year life.
- pharaohs and mammoths existed at the same time.
- pocahontas and william shakespeare died, in the same country, less than a year apart from each other.
- oxford university is older than the aztec empire.
Stuff like this really makes me wish we learned history chronologically instead of geographically. You know how cool this shit is? So much can happen all at once and we keep pretending like it doesn’t
My brain hurts but d a m n this is cool
free-to-be-impaled
